The highbrow Catherine’s Cross Color shorts, the very shorts that belonged to a carnival pervert who ran the Tilt-a-Whirl. We must find a replica or at least construct a facsimile. I do wonder if she still has them? It’s odd that a girl at the tender age of fourteen should be so very interested in engaging in relations of a sexual nature with a carnival 30 years her senior. What girl wouldn’t want a nice venereal disease, and just think, at the end of it all you get to walk around the Michigan State Fair in the coolest of digs. That was just Catherine.
To My Dear Log Keeper : Memoirs of The Beef Curtains June 11, 2008
The wondrous beef curtains, she was a gal with such class, such integrity that it was mandatory to have in place a fancy fine scrap of fake clip in hair mixed in with her own. This was a great jewel, a prize of charm….big puffs of synthetic hair is all the rage, and with that said off we went to one crummy party in which the Beef Curtains decided to get into a cat-fight. That was some brawl, there was name calling at first then “come-on” gestures that are always funny in themselves. Then the grabbing at each others clothing and then……. all of the sudden… right out of the fun filled blue….. something unidentifiable at the time flew up into the air and landed near an ashtray on the coffee table just close enough for a few of the particle hair strands to join up with a lit cigarette. There it was, a small percentage of a toupee so to speak laid there in dire need of attention… it began to smolder and with that came the smell of a year old unwashed wig. We sat there on the couch huddled together in front of beautiful facsimile, laughing and paying no mind to the fist fight that then developed to the two of them rolling about the floor. The potential of a fire got the Beef Curtains attention, she quickly came over to her property and dusted it off as if it just simply fell into some dirt rather that being on actual fire. She laughed and in her vodka and beer haze she clipped the hair upon her crotch. Terrifying… yes indeed but if any good did come out of this situation it was that the now merkin covered up that ghastly camel toe that resided in her stone washed jeans.
To My Dear Cousin Jennifer : Memoirs of Pornographic Vandalism June 11, 2008
High gloss Asian porn, thats what we found while digging in your Dad’s closet on that beautiful summer day. The year=1996, the town= Iron Mountain, Michigan. Our status= bored. The plan= simple, take 20 or so of these magazines and sell them to our perverted male friends. The visual materials where gathered into a blue back pack that also contained a Jem and the Holograms doll and various grilling utensils. We made our way to the mystical and dangerous town of Escanaba, Michigan. After a close examination of the pornographic goods we decided that it would be better to vandalize with it rather than sell it. Really this idea was made good due to the fact that our friends had no money to spend on purchases of this sort. An hour later four city blocks had fun and exciting pictures awaiting them in the sunrise hours. It took much consideration and carful calculation to place the porn in the most proper of spots. Under windshields wipers, mailboxes, strollers, potted plants, between doors, in grills and more places of which I can not recall. not many folks got to enjoy this, Eli decided that it would be far funnier to sneak behind us and remove what we so fashionably placed. We waited days for mention of this event in the local Daily Press newspaper.
